When You’re Bound by the Idea of Who You Were Supposed to Be
Derrick used to be “the one with potential.” Everybody saw it. Coaches said he had leadership in his bones. Teachers called him a natural. His family believed he was destined for something great. It felt like his future had already been written—he just needed to show up and live it out. But at 39, Derrick sat in the parking lot of a job he barely tolerated, staring at a life that didn’t look anything like what people imagined for him. He was divorced, exhausted, and still fighting to catch up financially. He loved his kids deeply, but even they couldn’t distract him from the disappointment that kept whispering, “You should be further along by now.”
The hardest part wasn’t what people thought about him. It was what he thought about himself. The version of him that was supposed to have made it by now. He wasn’t necessarily bitter; he was just tired. Tired of measuring himself against a version of success that never quite happened. Tired of rehearsing the “if only” moments. Tired of feeling like his value was stuck in a past full of potential that never took off.
This is the kind of prison most people don’t talk about. It’s not loud. It doesn’t look like chains. But it’ll wear you down like concrete on your chest.
We don’t always get stuck because we failed. Sometimes we get stuck because we can’t let go of the picture we painted in our minds of who we thought we would be. Instead of grieving what didn’t happen, we keep performing, pretending, and pushing—hoping one day we’ll feel like we’re enough. But that performance becomes exhausting when it’s rooted in pride, fear, or shame.
Proverbs 19:21 (NLT) says, “You can make many plans, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail.” That truth reminds us that even if life took a detour—even if we made decisions we regret—God’s purpose hasn’t been canceled. He’s not done. He doesn’t throw away the story just because a few chapters didn’t go as planned. In fact, God often does His best work in the places we’ve labeled as broken or too far gone.
One of the biggest reasons we struggle is because we don’t grieve well. We don’t give ourselves permission to mourn the old timeline, the missed moments, or the dream that no longer fits our reality. We tell ourselves to keep pushing, keep grinding, keep moving—but sometimes healing requires stopping long enough to surrender. Not in defeat, but in trust. Isaiah 43:18–19 (NLT) says, “But forget all that—it is nothing compared to what I am going to do. For I am about to do something new.” When God tells us to forget the former things, He’s not saying pretend the past didn’t happen. He’s telling us to stop giving it power over our present.
For Derrick, things didn’t start to shift when he tried to get back to the version of himself that everyone once believed in. Freedom came when he stopped chasing that old identity and started relying on God’s grace. When he finally got honest with God and said, “I’m tired of holding myself hostage to who I thought I should be,” that’s when things began to change. He realized that God hadn’t walked away. He’s always there, always loving us far better than we love ourselves, and He’s faithful to help us walk in His purpose.
This same truth applies to you. You don’t need to prove yourself, rewind time, or live under the pressure of who you thought you were supposed to be. Ephesians 2:10 (NLT) says, “For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.” That means your value isn’t based on what didn’t happen—it’s rooted in who you are becoming in Christ. You’re not a failure. You’re not too late. You are a masterpiece in progress, created by a faithful God who still has plans for you.
A Prayer for Letting Go of Who I Thought I’d Be
Father, I come to You with the weight of everything I’ve been carrying—the disappointment, the pressure, the comparison, and the pain of not becoming who I thought I should be. I lay it all at Your feet. Please forgive me for every sin—whether I recognized it or not—that kept me stuck, prideful, or distant from You. Thank You for washing me by the blood of Jesus Christ, and for giving me a new heart through Your precious Holy Spirit.
Help me to release the old version of myself and stop measuring my worth by broken timelines or unmet expectations. Help me to properly grieve and let go of old things so that I can open my heart to the new thing You’re doing in my life. Have Your way in me, Lord. Help me live in alignment with the identity I already have in Christ—whole, chosen, and dearly loved. Shape my desires and my steps according to Your Will. Strengthen my faith. Restore my hope. Remind me that Your purpose for me still stands, even when my plans fall apart.
I trust that You are not done with me. Reshape me and reveal who I truly am in You. I receive Your grace, and I choose to walk forward as Your masterpiece—held together not by my strength, but by Your mercy.
In the precious and powerful name of Jesus Christ, I pray,
Amen.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Wheaton, Illinois 60189. All rights reserved.
“Released – Breaking Free from the Things That Bind Us- Part 5: When You’re Bound by the Idea of Who You Were Supposed to Be”, written for Springfield Fellowship © 2025. All rights reserved. All praise and honor to God through Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior.